


Down Low, Too Slow

by just_another_tinker



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-08-13 13:14:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7978003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_tinker/pseuds/just_another_tinker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I-I don’t understand.”</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault, Steve,” Hill tried to soothe. “You saved a lot of people this week.”</p><p>“Yea, but how many did I not save?”</p><p>“A few hundred.” Hill hesitated. “It could have been a lot worse.”</p><p>She placed a packet in his hands. It looked almost innocent, small even. Hill was right; if Project Insight was a complete success, Steve would be reading a book rather than a small pamphlet. He did save a lot of people. But there were still victims typed onto the pages. There were still people that didn’t come home.</p><p>It was there that he saw it, simple black lettering burning right back into his retinas.</p><p> </p><p>Tony Stark</p><p> </p><p>Ice poured into his veins, the world coming to a screeching halt.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Steve.”</p><p> </p><p>Alternatively, a CA: Winter Soldier AU where Steve stopped Zola's algorithm a split second too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“How many times do I have to listen to this song?”

Sam didn’t even look up from his phone. “Until you learn to appreciate art when you hear it.”

Steve snorted, ignoring the twitch in his still healing chest. It was only day three in the hospital and Steve was already getting stir crazy. The change in music and pleasant conversation was nice, but it could only do so much. Hill had brought in some books for him, but Steve couldn’t focus, his head still pounding from his latest encounter on the helicarriers. Sam, thankfully, was a constant presence on his side. Steve would forever be grateful for at least someone to keep him sane, but he found himself wishing more than once that there was a different dark haired man next to him.

“Can we at least turn on the TV?” Steve tried.

“Nope,” answered Sam, mouth popping as he finished.

Steve flopped his head against the mound of pillows he was leaning against. “Sam, please. I’m going insane over here.”

“Well, maybe next time you’ll think before diving head first into a battle royal on an exploding hellicarrier. And then, of course, diving out of it. Into the river,” snarked Sam. “Honestly, I shouldn’t have been surprised, given your track records with aircrafts.”

“Sam,” Steve groaned.

“Relax, Cap. Besides, you don’t want to see anything on there. Natasha dumped all of SHIELD and HYDRA’s files on the internet. The media’s tearing you guys apart.”

Steve sighed softly. He knew Natasha had made the right call. SHIELD was compromised; that meant everything had to go. But Steve found himself wondering if they were ready for the backlash. But not right now. That was a problem for another day. There were more pressing matters, like-

A sharp knock on the door alerted both of the men, Maria Hill quietly stepping through the threshold.

“Hill,” Steve nodded. She smiled in response but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Wilson, I need to speak to Rogers. Alone.”

Sam’s face grew grim, the man getting out of the chair slowly to whisper in Hill’s ear. “I thought we were going to wait. He can’t take this right now.”

“It can’t wait. Not anymore,” Hill replied tersely.

Sam shook his head but dutifully backed towards the door, stopping the music from drifting out of his phone as he walked by. “I’ll be back later,” he promised to Steve before slipping outside. A heavy silence weighed between the two that were left, Steve feeling his heartbeat pick up. He hadn’t seen Hill like this. Not since Fury died. Well, Fury didn’t really die, so that face could mean anything. Somehow, that made it a lot worse.

“How are you feeling?” Hill asked innocently.

“Fine. Why are you here?” Steve asked, not missing a beat.

“I need to tell you something. How clear are you on what went down in the last helicarrier?”

Steve’s heart twisted like mangled tree roots. He remembered everything; there was no way that he couldn’t. He remembered every horrifying second as he watched the man wearing his best friend’s face look at him like he was nothing. “Hill, I can’t talk about him right now.” Even that had Steve’s throat constricting, cotton balls filling up the inside of his throat as tears threatened to spill onto his bruised cheeks.

“I’m not here to talk to you about The Winter Soldier.”

Steve knew it must be worse as the relieved feeling that he was expecting never came. “Then what is it?”

Hill glanced nervously at the window, staring blankly at the bright day outside. “When you finally managed to get a lock on the third helicarrier, you….. well, you were late.”

“Late?”

Hill nodded slightly. “When I last checked in with you, you had three seconds to switch out the cartridges.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed. “And I did.”

“You did it in 3.81,” Hill corrected softly.

Steve’s brain worked sluggishly, trying to piece together what hill was saying. “No, I did it. I think I would have noticed if I didn’t place it in time,” he hissed. “It wasn’t like I- ”

“Was bleeding out and focused on the man who was once your best friend but is now a HYDRA assassin?” Hill finished for him.

Steve could hear pounding in his ear, feeling as if he’d been thrust back in the frozen tundra. “What are you saying?” he asked quietly.

“I’m saying that things didn’t really play out the way we wanted. Zola’s algorithm got nowhere near its final target number, but it turns out a second is a lot longer than you’d think. Not everybody made it, Steve.”

“I-I don’t understand.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Steve,” Hill tried to soothe. “You saved a lot of people this week.”

“Yea, but how many did I _not_ save?”

“A few hundred.” Hill hesitated. “It could have been a lot worse.”

Steve clenched his jaw. He could hear the groan of the metal bars along the side of his bed, bending under the pressure of his hands. He wasn’t sure what words were about to come from his lips, but they never made it out as Steve found himself taking in Hill’s disposition.

“No offense, Hill, but this really isn’t your style,” Steve replied softly, playing with the frayed edges of the hospital blanket. “You would’ve waited until I was out of the hospital.” He paused, meeting her gaze again. “There’s something else, isn’t there.”

Hill bit her lip as she nodded. She walked forward slowly, almost as if she was afraid to approach. “We were able to recover the actual victims from the acquired target list. You need to know.”

She placed a packet in his hands. It looked almost innocent, small even. Hill was right; if Project Insight was a complete success, Steve would be reading a book rather than a small pamphlet. He did save a lot of people. But there were still victims typed onto the pages. There were still people that didn’t come home.

Steve picked up the list, eyes filtering over the page. The ink might as well have been written in blood. Their blood. They could have been anyone. Officials, teachers, chefs, _kids._ He should have stopped this. He _could_ have stopped this if Bucky hadn’t-

Steve closed his eyes. It was no one’s fault but his own. Tired eyes flicked back open as Steve moved on to the second page.

It was there that he saw it, simple black lettering burning right back into his retinas.

_Tony Stark_

Ice poured into his veins, the world coming to a screeching halt.

“I’m so sorry, Steve.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Steve!”

The man ignored the voice, electing to continue down the hall, sweat collecting on his brow as he pushed his aching legs closer to the door.

“Steve, come on, man.” He heard Sam dash in front of him, blocking his path. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“New York,” he grit out, his grip faltering on the wall supports.

“Really?” Sam asked unimpressed. “You’re gonna to walk all the way to New York?’

He reached out an arm to grab him, but Steve snarled. “Get out my way.”

“Captain, you need to get back in bed,” Hill called out, finally catching up with the pair. “There’s no way you’re in any state to head to New York.”

Steve jabbed a finger at her chest. “You’re not the boss of me anymore. And if you wanted me to sit complacent in bed, you should have thought about delivering this garbage to me after I was discharged,” he finished, wagging the crumpled list in his hand.

Hill’s eyes softened. “Steve, we had to tell you. We didn’t want to- ”

“What, lie to me?” Steve snapped. “But you were so good at it.”

“Steve,” Sam started.

“Don’t,” he bit out coldly. “I am going to New York. I am going to prove to you that Tony Stark is alive and well. Now you can either stay here and mope or you can come with me.”

Hill and Sam shared a look, no doubt debating all the reasons why a trip to New York was a horrible idea. But Steve didn’t care. He wouldn’t care until he saw Tony standing in front of him. He wouldn’t care until he knew he didn’t fail.

Sam was the first one to crack, much to Hill’s apparent dismay. “Fine,” he sighed. “You need someone to fly you there anyway. There’s no way I’m letting your punk ass anywhere near the pilot seat.” His new friend threw an arm around him, Steve breathing a sigh of relief when he felt Sam take some of his weight.

Steve found himself going up in the elevator instead of heading towards the ground, eventually stumbling out onto the roof where the hospital’s emergency helicopter sat waiting. He heard Hill speak over the phone, no doubt pulling enough strings to get them usage.

It wasn’t long before Steve found himself getting strapped into the chopper, Sam starting the short flight to New York. It was quiet in the cabin, Steve staring blankly out the window while his head churned like an impending storm.

“The other names on the list,” he started.

“Yes,” Hill answered for him. “The ones that we’ve found so far are all dead.”

Steve closed his eyes, willing his heartrate to slow down. “Who were they?”

“Pentagon officials, mostly,” came the reply. “We’re thinking that HYDRA had a contingency plan. They put all the riskier targets at the beginning of the list. If there was ever a chance that Project Insight wasn’t completed, they’d still have gotten HYDRA’s biggest opponents out of the way,” she finished softly.

“Fuckers,” Sam whispered under his breath.

Steve ignored the pair, reaching forward to grab Sam’s backpack digging through it until he found his phone. He took a deep breath, typing in a number that he had memorized a long time ago.

_“Hi, you’ve reached Tony Stark. I’m currently unavailable, but let’s be honest. I’m rarely available. And while we’re being honest, don’t bother leaving a message because there’s a 97% chance that I won’t listen to it anyway. Ciao.”_

Steve clenched his jaw, feeling the phone groan under the pressure from his grip. He yanked the phone away from his ear and dialed again.

_“Hi, you’ve reached Tony Stark. I’m currently- ”_

Redial.

_“Hi, you’ve reached Tony Stark.”_

Redial.

_“Hi, you’ve reached- ”_

Shaking fingers punched the number into the phone.

_“Hi- ”_

A quiet mantra escaped his lips. _Please, please, please, please._

_“Hi- ”_

Steve shouted a curse, throwing the phone in the chopped door, the tech smashing into a million pieces.

“He didn’t pick up?” Sam tried to ask nonchalantly.

“No,” Steve sighed. “That doesn’t mean anything. He wouldn’t pick up the phone for me anyway.”

 _Not after what you did,_ a voice inside his head hissed.

The rest of the ride was met with complete silence, Steve tuning out the nasty thoughts swirling thought his head. When he was graced with a familiar skyline he almost breathed a sigh of relief. Stark Tower, now known as Avengers Tower, stood dominantly in the sky, its sleek but bold figure almost screaming Tony Stark.

Sam touched down on the Helipad softly, Steve jumping out before the blades had stopped completely. Of course, Steve had forgotten about his current status and quickly crumpled to the ground. He heard a shuffle before both Sam and Hill were pulling him up balancing one of his arms on each of their shoulders.

“Steve, maybe we shouldn’t- ”

“Let’s go,” he said, cutting Hill off.

The walk down the stairs was slow, the strong wind wanting to topple the trio over. They slowed when they reached the glass door, barring their entrance. Steve pulled away from his anchors, limping over to the glass.

“JARVIS, it’s me, let me in,” Steve said to the door, placing his thumb over the scanner. Upon getting no response, Steve leaned closer. “Codename Captain America,” he continued slowly. “Come on, JARVIS.”

“Steve, I don’t think anyone’s home.”

Steve shot Sam a dirty look. “This isn’t the first time Tony’s muted JARVIS from answering my commands.”

“Then how do you suggest we get inside?”

Steve peered back through the glass, seeing nothing but darkness. It really did look like no one was home. Without thinking, Steve snapped a fist out, punching into the thick glass, creating spider web cracks all over the door.

“Steve, what the hell?!” Sam cried, but Steve just reared up again, sending two quick punches before pushing his whole weight against the door, finally feeling the panes give way. Steve was sent crashing to the ground, shards biting into his exposed skin.

“What the hell is your problem?” snapped Sam, bending down quickly to pick Steve up, wiping the glass away from him as gently as possible.  

Steve pulled away from the other man, looking at the darkened room. Not even the lab lights were on. “Tony?” he called into the darkness. “JARVIS?”

Hill walked over to flick on a light. “Power’s out,” she replied tersely. “JARVIS isn’t going to be answering any time soon.”

Steve bit his lip. “There are suites on the next nine floors down from here. Check them all,” Steve said to his companions as he slowly began his trek across the main room. He heard Sam sigh again behind him but heard the pair dutifully open the stairwell and trudge down to the next floors.

Steve stood for a moment in the silence, feeling nothing but unease. It was never quiet here. Tony was always mumbling to JARVIS or yelling at one of his bots. Coffee was always brewing and hard rock was always booming against the walls. If Steve didn’t already know where he was, he would have been totally convinced that he was in the wrong tower.

Steve walked towards the new glass encased lab, knowing that to be the best place to look for the resident genius, the blonde calling out Tony’s name every so often. Doubt started to cloud Steve’s head but he tried to shake it off. The tower was one of the most fortified places in New York, let alone the eastern seaboard. There was nowhere Tony Stark would have been more safe from HYDRA.

“Tony?” Steve tried again, ignoring his gut wrenching as he was met with an empty lab. It was in more disarray than it usually was, but Steve knew that once Tony had a stroke of inspiration, the man turned into a walking tornado. “This isn’t funny, Tony,” he tried. “You win. Come out and rub it in my face.”

Silence.

“Please?” Steve tried to add.

Steve waited hard and long for a snarky response, a bright chuckle, anything. But it never came. _Except._

Steve turned his head slightly, his ears picking up on a soft whistling. Taking it as his only lead, Steve left the lab, tracking the source of the sound. It wasn’t long before he found himself staring at a gaping hole in the side of the tower.

Steve furrowed his brow as he traced the outside. That didn’t make any sense. Tony hade finished the renovations from the New York invasion years ago. So unless the Tony had an experiment go wrong, there was no excuse for the- _oh my God._

There wasn’t an excuse for that hole. Because it wasn’t supposed to be there. But it was, because Steve had been .81 seconds too late.

It was a bullet hole.

Steve spun around quickly, ignoring the way the world tilted slightly, the man tripping over himself to find where the bullet had gone.

“Tony?!” Steve tried more desperately.

His head pounded as he raced across the room, checking behind chairs and couches.

“Cap!” Sam’s voice sounded, jogging up next to him. “All the floors below us are clear. Listen, I think we should- ”

Both men stopped as they finally reached the other wall. It was impossible for them to have seen it upon walking in, the shadows and the furniture blocking any sort of clear view.

“Holy shit,” he heard Sam whisper behind him.

In front of them, looking nothing more than like a horrific Jackson Pollock, was a wall splattered with blood, the deep red staining the paint.

Steve felt his knees give out, the man falling to the ground with a loud crack. _This can’t be happening,_ he tried to reason with himself. _This can’t be real!_

But it was real. The wall was covered in blood. His blood. It might was well have been on Steve’s hands. This was all his fault.

A hoarse sob tore from his chest as the rest of his body started to shut down.

“ _What have I done?”_


	3. Chapter 3

“This doesn’t make any sense.” Sam’s voice cut through the silence.

Steve felt his hands clench into fists. “How is this so hard for you to understand?” Steve hissed at the other man. “Tony’s dead. He’s _dead_ ,” he choked out, voice cracking.

“Steve.”

“Don’t you dare,” the blonde snapped. “I don’t wanna hear whatever convoluted therapist talk you have for me. This isn’t one of these things were you can whisper some motivation in my ear and then everything will be fine. Because it won’t, Sam! So keep it to yourself, because I don’t wanna hear it.”

“You need to calm down before you do something stupid,” Sam replied evenly.

“What more could I possibly do?” Steve roared. “How much more do you think I could fuck up? How much more do I have to accomplish before it’s safe to say that I’m royally screwed. My best friend, whom I thought was dead, is now not only anything but that, but now a brainwashed assassin for the very establishment that we spent our entire military careers defeating. An establishment that apparently, despite me driving a plane into the artic, survived and continued to wreak havoc on the world while I took a seventy year ice nap! And oh yes, let’s not forget that even though I had a chance to stop it all, I failed. _Again._ I failed and let hundreds of people die including, as you seemed to have forgotten about the blood spray behind us, my other best friend!”

Before he knew it, Sam was charging, pushing him down until he was sitting in one of Tony’s plush armchairs. “Sit your ass down, you’re pulling out your stitches,” was all he said, steady hands roaming over Steve’s body until he was satisfied that Steve wasn’t going to keel over. “You’re going to go over the deep end, Steve,” Sam continued. “Don’t lose it here. Stark wouldn’t want that.”

Steve scoffed. “You didn’t know him. No one did.”

“You did,” Sam answered plainly. “And I think I understand him enough to know that if he were here, he’d be telling you to get your head out of your ass. The job’s not done yet.”

“It is for me,” Steve replied, staring at the crimson on the wall. He could feel the tears staring to form but he made no more to stop them. Let the agony come. He deserved it.

“No, you’re not giving up yet.” Sam sat down in front of him, forcing Steve to meet his eyes. “You’re not thinking clearly, Steve. You know this isn’t right.”

“Of course I know. But since when does HYDRA care about ‘right’?”

“Steve, you’re losing it,” Sam snapped. “Look over there and tell me what you see,” he continued, pointing at the mess over on the wall.

“The rest of my pitiful excuse of a life being ripped away from me,” Steve answered hollowly.

“You’re not looking.”

Steve shot Sam the dirtiest look he could muster. “What do you want for me? There’s blood, Sam. _His_ blood, nothing more.”

“Exactly,” Sam agreed. _“_ Where’s his body, Steve? _Where’s Stark’s body?”_

Steve lurched forward to look at the far wall, Sam barely managing to catch him. “It’s not there,” he whispered.

Sam shot him a fierce smile. “From what I know from the news, Tony Stark’s a hard man to kill. He can still be out there, Steve!”

 _Could it be true?_ Steve’s heart soared, blood pumping wildly through his veins. “We’ve gotta find him, Sam. He probably needs medical and- ”

“Don’t.” Hill’s voice carried over their excited bickering. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“What the hell is your problem?” Sam snapped. “If Tony Stark was dead, his body would be right over there, Hill. There’s still hope.”

“What about JARVIS?” Hill continued. “It’s been three days and JARVIS didn’t think enough to reach out and warn the appropriate parties about his creator’s safety?”

Steve frowned, looking at the ceiling. “You saw for yourself. JARVIS wasn’t on; there wasn’t any way for him to get the message out.”

“Exactly. Because the power was out. Why is it that the power would be out in one of the most technologically advanced building on the eastern seaboard?”

Sam got up, stalking over to Hill with his arms crossed. “You know something. Something you didn’t tell us.”

Steve’s eyes snapped back over to Hill. She couldn’t have lied again, could she? _She works for SHIELD. Of course she lied._ “What else are you keeping from us?” Steve snapped.

Hill sighed, but eventually gave in. “When the first shots went off, it was pure chaos. While originally, we thought that was HYDRA’s end game, we think they were using it as a smoke screen. Most of the targets went down in the Pentagon. While they were being taken out, HYDRA had a strike team waiting, using the panic to their advantage to try and break in. They were eventually subdued, but they’d made it all the way to the archives, no doubt to steal confidential information.”

“I don’t understand,” Sam interjected. “What does this have to do with Tony Stark?”

“If HYDRA had people waiting at the Pentagon, what’s to say they didn’t have people here,” Steve finished for her, flopping back against his seat.

“Think about it, Steve,” she continued softly. “JARVIS is offline. You saw the state of the lab. Tony Stark may be a mess, but there is a method to his madness. Someone else was in there poking around.”

“And what, they just decided that there wasn’t anything worthwhile in there? I find that hard to believe. If this is Tony Stark’s house, I bet there are about five things that any villain would want from just his bathroom. Why would they pass that up?” Sam scoffed.

“Because they were there with something better,” Hill concluded, gesturing back over to the bloody mess of a wall.

Steve watched as Sam put the pieces together. “You’re joking,” Sam deadpanned. “The body?” When Hill nodded, Sam continued. “What would they want with Stark’s body?”

Steve closed his eyes as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks.

“Extremis.”


	4. Chapter 4

“What the hell is Extremis?”

Sam’s voice was calm, as it always was; a lighthouse shining through the night to keep him on course. Steve didn’t want to hear it. He’d rather sit back and wait for the storm to take him. Ignoring the question, Steve watched Hill pacing in the background, phone pressed tightly against her ear as she know doubt scrambled to find a team to come in and sweep the place. It was foolish; it was impossible to tell who was left anymore. Who was on their side anymore.

“Steve?”

Steve clenched his jaw at Sam’s prodding. But that’s just another thing about lighthouses. They might offer guidance, but they’re always there. Even when they aren’t wanted, the bright light burning through eye sockets, demanding attention.

“It’s a virus.”

“Like a disease?” Sam continued. “Stark was sick?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking.”

He heard Sam sigh next to him. “You gotta give me more than that. I’d find better answers talking to a wall.”

“Fine then. Go talk to that one,” Steve snapped, nodding over to the wall that was covered in – _don’t._

“Steve,” Sam tried again, but Steve wasn’t having it. He needed to leave. He needed to get out. _You don’t have anywhere else to go,_ his conscious dutifully reminded him. He didn’t have anything. He didn’t have anyone.

“Alright,” Hill said, finally regrouping with the other two. “I’ve got in contact with some techs. They’re on their way over to see if they can get the power back on. If anyone can give us the answers we need, it’s JARVIS.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious what happened here,” Steve replied hollowly.

“Tell me about Extremis,” Sam asked to Hill, ignoring Steve.

Hill sat down in the other arm chair, facing towards Steve. Rage burned through his veins. _You can’t sit there,_ his mind hissed. _That’s not your seat, it’s his, it’s his, it’s his._

“Do you remember The Mandarin?”

Sam nodded. “Yea, that psycho terrorist, right? I thought Stark took care of him.”

“Yes, but he wasn’t the real problem. The Mandarin was created to be a smoke screen, a distraction to cover up the continued distribution of a biological weapon.”

“Extremis?”

“Yes,” Hill replied. “Think of it as a bastardized version of the super soldier serum. Once injected, it can rewrite your DNA for enhanced abilities. It you survived the procedure, that is.”

“How many people have this in their system?”

Hill shrugged. “It’s hard to tell. Stark was able to dismantle the organization known as AIM when he took down the Mandarin, but there could have been others that were injected or got their hands on a sample.”

“And Stark was one of them?” questioned Sam. “Since when is Tony Stark a super soldier?”

“He isn’t, or wasn’t, according to our knowledge.” Steve could feel the heat of Hill’s glare. “But apparently we were wrong. SHIELD was under the impression that Pepper Potts was the only one injected with Extremis in Malibu. Was Stark lying?”

Silence followed, as Steve tried to ignore the fact that Hill was talking to him. It didn’t matter now, did it? Tony was… dead. He didn’t have to keep any of the man’s secrets anymore. But those secrets, they were all he had. Those quiet moments between the two of them, as Steve sat in his chair while Tony draped himself over his, the one Hill was currently in. Fears, hopes, dreams even, passing between the pair as the hours ticked by.

“Steve.”

“No,” he finally answered. “Pepper was the only one.”

“Then how did Stark have the virus?”

Silence again.

_“They can’t know, Steve. You know what they’ll try and do.”_

Did it matter now?

SHIELD was gone. _Tony_ was gone.

_I’m sorry, Tony._

“Because he injected himself.”

 

* * *

 

_Steve stared at the door in front of him. Well, it was a door, wasn’t it? Solid glass stood in front of him, the midday sunlight shining through, helping to display the expanse and luxury of the interior._

_But it had to be a door. The pathway down from the helipad led to that specific pane, so it had to be. But where was the door handle?_

_Steve balled his hands into fists, glaring at the glass. Just add it on to another thing about this century that was completely unnecessary._

_It didn’t take long for Steve to figure out the new time he was living in. Despite what everyone else thought, he was still a strategist. Part of his job was adaptability. And while there were many things that Steve thought he would forever be over the moon about (microwaves were a godsend), the majority of things that people used in their lives today seemed superfluous. It’s was just the way people lived now; not really needing anything, but wanting everything._

_So if anyone, Steve thought to himself, would have a door with no handle, it would be Tony Stark. Because everyone needs a hobby, and Tony Stark’s was making life difficult._

_“Captain Rogers, you’ve been staring in now for over five minutes without movement. My sensors don’t detect any abnormalities. Are you in need of any assistance?”_

_Steve jumped. Right. JARVIS. “No, JARVIS, I’m alright. Just… how do I get in?”_

_The right side of the glass lit up, directing his eyes to a small rectangle that was formed by frosted glass, one that Steve didn’t notice before. “Mr. Stark had the doors leading to the Avengers Tower outfitted with voice activation and a thumb scan in attempt to, and I quote, ‘keep the hoodlums out’.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes but dutifully pressed his thumb against the glass, a slight click sounding in response before the door swung open. Steve stepped in, shivering slightly against the rush of cool air that greats him. It was quiet, but Steve expected it to be so. Even if this was his first time flying in, Steve had been here a few times before, and knew that while the building was made to house all of them, it was empty except for the landlord._

_“Might I inquire as to what you’re doing here, Captain?”_

_“I want to see him,” Steve answered firmly. “I wanna see Tony.”_

_There was a long pause, no doubt JARVIS relaying the information to his creator. “Sir is currently engaged, I’m afraid. Perhaps another time?”_

_“The lights in the lab are on, JARVIS. I know he’s here.”_

_“Of course, Captain. Unfortunately, Mr. Stark is working with some very delicate- ”_

_“I don’t care what kind of story he’s telling you to spin, JARVIS,” Steve said tersely, as he began to stomp up the steps, the lights from the lab guiding his way. “I’m not leaving until I see him.”_

_“Then perhaps tomorrow, Captain. Sir has rooms readily available for- ”_

_“Let me in, JARVIS.”_

_“I’m afraid I cannot.”_

_Steve reached the fishbowl that housed the lab; pages filled with illegible ramblings were strewn around the room, coffee cups littering every table. The lab was quiet, which was strange. While Tony had the room sound proofed, Steve could always feel the vibrations as the man worked. Steve liked to think of it as the personification of Tony’s brain; always pounding away, always working. What was weirder was that there was no Tony. Signs of the man were plastered all over the room, but the man was nowhere to be found._

_“I thought he was in the lab?”_

_“I never specified that Sir was- ”_

_“But you said he was working on something delicate,” retorted Steve. “He wouldn’t risk being anywhere else. Why isn’t he here?”_

_“Captain, I really can’t- ”_

_“Let me in, JARVIS.”_

_“I don’t have the authority to do so.”_

_“Open the damn door.”_

_“Captain, you don’t have- ”_

_Fuck it._

_Steve reached back, grabbing his shield from his back. He stepped back a few paces before charging forward, feeling the glass easily cracking under the vibranium. Steve was sent crashing to the ground, glass shards flying around him, but he paid it no mind as he stood back up._

_“Tony?”_

_A sharp moan had Steve sprinting over to the far corner of the lab, stumbling when he cut a corner too close, thudding heavily to the ground. Looking back, Steve saw that it wasn’t a pile of random tech that he fell over, but Tony himself._

_The mad looked horrible. Sweat covered every inch of available skin, adhering flesh to damp cloth. His eyes, when they weren’t closed in pain, were glossy and dazed, unlike the usual sharp weapons that Tony always had locked and loaded. But his skin, good Lord. It was if his veins were ablaze, a fire roaring inside of him, begging for release. Bright oranges and harsh yellows glowed from underneath the surface, a bomb ready to blow._

_“Oh my God,” Steve found himself whispering as he gathered Tony into his arms. “Tony?! What the hell did you- stay here. I’m calling the- ”_

_“Don’t,” Stark croaked, a shaking hand snatching his arm._

_“You don’t get any input,” Steve snapped, trying to help the man up. Tony cried out as Steve started to move him, causing the blonde to curl around him instinctively._

_“I’m afraid Sir is right. There isn’t anything modern medicine can do for him now. We must wait until the process is complete.”_

_“What process?  What the hell did you do, Tony?!”_

_“Trust me,” came the gasped answer._

_Brown eyes met blue and that was that. An understanding was reached. Because it wasn’t Tony Stark asking Steve Rogers. It was Iron Man asking Captain America. Two halves of a whole; one of them barely starting a thought before the other was finishing it. They were an extension of each other, a deadly force on and off the battle field. While Steve and Tony were always at each other’s throats, Cap and Iron Man were at each other’s backs, holding the line._

_Steve clenched his jaw but found himself nodding, letting Tony thrash in his arms as the tremors started back up. He sat there, keeping his grip secure, humming an old forgotten war tune, trying to keep calm as Tony screamed, and screamed, and screamed._


	5. Chapter 5

_“What the hell were you thinking?!”_

_He could see Tony’s face scrunch, the man groaning softly as he twisted his body further into the sheets as if trying to get away from Steve’s voice. Steve, in mature retaliation, ripped the blankets away and watched as Tony instantly tried to curl in on himself only to stop with a moan of pain._

_“Come on, get up,” Steve replied, leaning over the bed. “You need fluids.”_

_Tony let Steve manhandle him into a sitting position, the brunette wearing a familiar frown as he glared at Steve, his mind probably whirring as he tried to solve the problem in front of him. “Am I dead?” Tony asked, his voice rough and almost slurred, as if he had been drunk rather than screaming in pain on the floor of his lab._

_Steve paused. “Why would you think that?”_

_“Seems fitting that I be stuck in an eternity of you giving me orders,” Tony shrugged._

_Steve rolled his eyes. “Glad to know that I made the cut into your version of hell.”_

_“Or heaven,” Tony leered, wagging his eyebrows._

_Steve shot the man a blank stare before stomping out of the bedroom. Tony’s floor, unlike the rest of the tower that sat like a blank slate ready to be filled, was cluttered, almost chaotic. It wasn’t Tony’s normal mess; Steve had seen the man work enough that there was always a method to his madness and that everything always had its place, regardless of whether anyone could see that. But this room wasn’t anything like his lab. Boxes were strewn left and right, like Tony had torn through them until he found the right one. Clothes littered the floor, covered in God knows what, as Tony stepped out of them to collapse onto the nearest piece of furniture. Steve found himself frowning as he found the only dishes he saw were coffee cups, a crease forming on his forehead as he saw the liquid inside appeared to be amber instead of black._

_Opening the fridge, Steve’s mood continued to darken when almost empty shelves stared back at him. Sighing, Steve opted to grab two cups, filling one up with water and the other with what he prayed wasn’t expired orange juice._

_He heard some shuffling behind him and turned to see Tony stumble into the kitchen, not even wasting a passing glance to the disarray the room was in. He did, however, stop and stare at Steve again. “You’re still here.”_

_Steve pinched his nose with his fingers. “Yes, Tony,” he huffed before pushing the two glasses towards the brunette. “Although I’m not too sure if I should still be here or should be dragging your ass to the hospital.”_

_Steve watched as Tony gulped down the entire glass of water. “Hospitals are for the weak,” he replied as he licked his still dry lips._

_Unimpressed, Steve whipped an arm out to tap at Tony’s forearm, watching as the empty glass he was holding slip from his grip and shattered to the floor. “And where does that put you, if you can’t keep a firm grip on a cup?” Steve snapped._

_Tony ignored the mess he’d just created, flopping down into one of the bar stools around the kitchen island. “What do you want from me, Rogers?”_

_“I want to know what the hell you were doing. Why did you… why did your skin look like that?”_

_“No offense, Cap, but this kind of goes above your reading level.”_

_“Don’t do this,” Steve said, trying to meet Tony’s eyes._

_“Steve- ”_

_“Just tell me you’re ok.”_

_“JARVIS?” Tony sighed wearily._

_“Your vital signs are stabilizing, Sir. I think it’s safe to safe that the integration was a success.”_

_“See?” Tony retorted, looking back at Steve. “I’m better than ever.”_

_Steve snorted. “Yea, you look it.”_

_“Can’t you just trust me on this one?”_

_“I did. I trusted you enough just to sit back and watch you seize on the floor yesterday. And I’m still trusting you now. I’m trusting you that you’d tell me that what just happened isn’t a danger to you or anyone else.”_

_That made Tony pause, just like Steve knew it would. While Tony would never put the lives of others in danger, Steve knew for a fact that he didn’t put himself in that high of regard. “It is dangerous,” Tony finally stated. “But you already knew that; you saw me earlier. But, I can promise you that it won’t be a danger for that much longer.”_

_“Ok.”_

_Tony’s eyes shot up, almost wild looking as they locked with Steve’s. Steve could almost see the gears churning wildly in his head as the man tried to figure out where the catch was. But there wasn’t one. Steve would risk it if just to show Tony that they were on the same side._

_Even after the battle of New York, things had been tense between the two, both two proud and ashamed of their earlier actions to address the issue. Tony had left for Malibu, opting to stay as far away from the place that had nearly killed him, and Steve had just picked a direction and hopped on his motorcycle, finally ready to brace the new world._

_From what Steve could put together, both men were a lot more similar than they liked to admit. Steve hadn’t made it too far before crawling back to SHIELD, needing a familiar sort of structure in his life. And from the reports from Fury and Hill, Tony had returned full force to SI, with an occasional Iron Man appearance on the side._

_But then The Mandarin happened._

_Steve, followed by Natasha and Clint, dropped everything from their recon mission in Prague, jetting it back to Malibu. It wasn’t until they’d finally landed that Tony was anything but dead, and had managed to thwart the entire terrorist’s regime._

_While SHIELD and the government immediately tried to sweep it under the rug, something to do with the Vice President, Steve had changed courses, opting to find his teammate. Which is how Steve had found himself standing in front of Stark Tower, and more importantly, how he found himself cradling Tony’s body through each spasm._

_“Can you tell me what it is?” Steve asked, as Tony made no move to reply besides staring at Steve suspiciously._

_Tony sighed. “Think of it like the 21 st century’s version of the super soldier serum.” _

_Steve blanched at the smaller man. “And you injected yourself with that? Why the hell would you do that?”_

_Tony frowned at him. “What, there isn’t enough room on the team for two super soldiers?”_

_“Tony,” Steve started._

_“Or do you think I’m just not wholesome enough for it,” Tony sneered, interrupting the blonde. “Afraid that I’ll go crazy and rip my face off like Hitler’s Dr. Frankenstein did?”_

_“Will you quit it,” Steve hissed. “You know that I wasn’t thinking about that, Tony. I know you’ve read your father’s journal about the process. You know how dangerous it was! Why would you risk yourself like that?”_

_“You don’t think I calculated the risks?”_

_“I know your definition of risk is a hell of a lot different than everyone else’s.”_

_“Fine,” Tony snapped, throwing his hands up. “It’s doesn’t matter anyway. I pulled through just fine.”_

_“I don’t know what your definition of fine is,” Steve started, “but I think I’d be a little concerned if my skin was turning orange. I don’t remember that serum doing anything like that.”_

_“It’s not the actual serum, it’s….” Tony broke off with a sigh. “I don’t even know it should be classified as a serum. It’s more like a virus.”_

_Steve made a move to respond but was cut off by a quick gesture of Tony’s hand. “Listen, if you want answers, you have to save your judgement until I finish, alright?”_

_Steve clenched his jaw but found himself nodding anyway._

_“How do I explain this,” Tony said softly, rubbing at his forehead. “It’s called Extremis. It works like the serum in the same way it affects the DNA. But instead of enhancing it, it changes it. Like rewriting a code. A code to upgrade the human body. It’s volatile and unstable, explosive even. It’s too dangerous; it breaks so many ethics about what the human body is and should be.”_

_Steve stared at the other man blankly. “And you decided to inject this into yourself because?” he prompted._

_“The Mandarin,” Tony grit out. “He wasn’t real. He was a smoke screen for a company called AIM. They were handing out Extremis injections like candy. But I was so blind to it all; all I could think about was taking down another terrorist who threatened to get in my way. And I’m paying the price for that.”_

_“But Tony,” Steve interjected. “You did stop them.”_

_“They injected Pepper.”_

_Steve froze. “With Extremis?”_

_“I wasn’t fast enough,” Tony replied hollowly. “I wasn’t good enough.”_

_Steve looked at him with pained eyes. “Is she?”_

_“She’s handling it with grace, as she always does,” Tony said with a bitter smile. “It doesn’t matter. I’m going to fix it.”_

_“There isn’t a cure?”_

_“Not yet.”_

_Steve couldn’t help but smile. It took him a while to figure it out, to get past all of the masks that he wore, but Steve finally managed to get a glimpse. That underneath it all, Tony was just a man with his hands. A man who just wanted to tinker, just wanted to fix._

_But then why inject himself? If he was looking for a cure, wouldn’t giving himself Extremis be adding to the fire? Why would Tony put everything on the line to-_

_Oh._

_Steve hummed, finally catching on. “You need a viable subject with Extremis to test the potential cure.”_

_Tony nodded sharply._

_“And you didn’t want to test it on Pepper,” Steve finished softly._

_“I couldn’t do it. What if something went wrong? There barely was any testing behind it that wasn’t handled by crack-pot maniacs, and I only took a stab at it once when I was drunk. Pepper….she’s in this situation because of me. I need to fix it. No matter the cost.”_

_Steve nodded again. He couldn’t say he exactly agreed with Tony’s methods, but Steve knew Pepper was special. If it had been Peggy, or Bucky for that matter, Steve probably would have done something equally as dumb. If there was a chance to save a loved one, he wouldn’t hesitate._

_“Ok, then,” Steve agreed. “What do you need me to do?”_

_Tony spluttered. “I’m sorry?”_

_“What you’re doing is incredibly idiotic and downright dangerous. But I understand, and I’ll stand with you,” Steve responded firmly. “But that also doesn’t mean that I’m going to leave you here by yourself. The way you’re describing this thing, I don’t think you should be alone. Not when you’re running these tests; something might go wrong. I know I’m nowhere near where a level of understanding to begin to even comprehend this, but I’ll help anyway that I can.”_

_Tony continued to stare at him like he had three heads._

_Steve rolled his eyes. “Deal?” he asked, extending a hand out._

_Tony squinted again, no doubt trying to figure out his motives, his brain picking Steve apart piece by piece. He must not have found anything because he was meeting Steve’s hand, shaking it with a calloused grip._

_“Deal.”_


End file.
